Breaking the Rules Read online

  Tali holds me at arm’s length and inspects her canvas. “Perfect.”

  When we get back upstairs, Tali goes off to get a drink and I watch as everyone else has fun, talking and drinking and eating. I look around and spot Ollie on the other side of the living room and he smiles at me. Rachel is holding on to his arm like it might fall off at any second. I smile back and join Emma and Adam who are leaning against the wall next to the booze and staring at somebody I can’t see.

  “Who are we looking at?” I ask, pouring myself a tall glass of pineapple juice and adding a small dash of rum. I don’t usually drink but I need all the help I can get tonight.

  “Tali’s on the prowl,” Adam says, not taking his eyes off the prey. “And he is total gorgeousness. Tall. Dark. Looks great in a suit. If there’s any justice in this miserable world, he’ll be gay and have lowered standards.”

  “You’re out of luck,” Emma says. “She’s got him hook, line and sinker.” We watch as the mystery man writes down Tali’s phone number.

  “Figures,” Adam sighs and turns to look at me. “So where have you been... Oh my sweet lord. What happened to your face?”

  Before I can answer, Tali comes back to join us. “Doesn’t Rox look great?” Emma and Adam nod and I elbow Adam in the ribs when he starts to chuckle. Something tells me I need to stay away from mirrors. I might look like a cheap hooker.

  “Who’s the guy?” I ask. “I don’t remember inviting any hot male models to this party.”

  “His name’s Jasper. He says he’s a friend of some other guy who’s here. Isn’t he cute? I gave him my number. Do you think he’s going to call me?”

  Emma, Adam and I roll our eyes in unison. Of course Jasper is going to call and she knows it. He’s probably debating whether he’s going to wait a few days to call or if he’ll do it later tonight. When he finally does call, there’s a chance Tali won’t even remember him because ten other guys have asked for her number tonight. We all watch Jasper as he smiles and waves at Tali. Poor beautiful bastard.

  When Adam and the girls go find more food, I scan the room and look for Ollie. I’ve barely spoken to him all evening. I finally spot him talking to Fritz Cullen, one of the Associates in Brent & Associates. Having shared a few conversations with Fritz myself, I know how boring his stories can be. And long. But I know Ollie wants to be on Fritz’s good side because he’s hoping to also eventually become one of the Associates. I envy that about Ollie. He knows how to get ahead.

  Rachel is at Ollie’s side, twirling a lock of hair around her finger and looking over Fritz’s shoulder, not even pretending to care about what he’s talking about. Even from a few feet away I can hear her smacking her gum and sighing. Ollie must be so embarrassed by Rachel’s behavior. A slow smile spreads across my face. I suddenly want Fritz to go into extremely painful detail about anything and everything. What did you eat for breakfast this morning? What were you wearing? What kind of car do you drive? What are your thoughts on global warming? How would you end world hunger? Bore her to death, Fritz. Unfortunately, a few seconds later Fritz pats Ollie on the back and heads for the food. Oh, Fritz, I was counting on you!

  “Why the frown?” Ollie asks. I hadn’t noticed him coming towards me, dragging Rachel with him. She gives me her best evil eye and looks away, still holding on to Ollie’s arm.

  “It’s nothing. I guess I’m sad the party’s almost over.” I look at my watch and realize how late it is really is.

  “I know. It went by way too fast.” He stops and looks around at the people starting to gather around him, wanting to say goodbye before leaving. “There’s just one more thing I need to do. Everyone, everyone... EVERYONE. Can I have your attention, please?” The chatter stops, someone turns off the stereo and everyone turns around to face Ollie, Rachel and I.

  I look at Ollie with question marks in my eyes and he just smiles. “Before you start heading out, I just wanted to take a minute and thank you all for coming tonight. I appreciate your support and good wishes. I’m very excited about going to London and being part of the Green Project. I hope this is the beginning of something important and that, in the future, everyone involved in the design and construction of new buildings will take into consideration the impact they have on the Earth. But enough tree-hugging for now.” Ollie smiles and the room chuckles. He has their undivided attention. Letting go of Rachel’s hand, he turns to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. “I want to thank my roommate and best friend Roxy for this incredible party and all the amazing food. It truly was a surprise until the very last second and I have no idea how she pulled it off. I guess I must have been a little out of it for the last few weeks if she was able to contact all of you and organize this. She thought of every detail.”

  I can feel Rachel’s blazing stare on me but I don’t turn around. Obviously, I did not think of everything. But Ollie doesn’t need to know that right now.

  “I will miss a lot of things about New York.” He clears his throat. “But none more than my best friend Roxy and my best girl Rachel.” I can feel my throat tightening and Adam reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I don’t know how I’ll be able to live without Roxy’s cooking. If I get too desperate, I might ask you to FedEx some of your lemon cake to London.” He turns to the room. “Isn’t it the best everyone?” My cheeks start burning when a few people agree enthusiastically and clap.

  “And Rachel,” he continues. “I’m going to...”

  “Actually,” Rachel interrupts, her voice clear and chirpy. “I’ve got an announcement to make too.” She pauses for effect and smiles at the room. “I’ll be joining Oliver in London. I’ve decided to take my acting career across the pond and audition for some West End shows. It’s like the Broadway of England.”

  I nearly choke on my pineapple juice. Acting career? Adam, Emma and Tali are about to burst out laughing and have to turn their backs to Rachel.

  “Really, baby?” Ollie picks Rachel up by her (tiny, malnourished) waist and spins her around. He kisses her before setting her back on the ground again. A few people clap. She beams up at him and then looks straight at me. Ollie looks my way too. I raise my glass. Good for them. I mean that. Everyone says long-distance relationships don’t work out and now they won’t have to go through that. I wonder about long-distance friendships. Those can work, right?

  I stand by the door and thank the guests as they all leave the apartment.

  “I’m going to walk Rachel home,” Ollie tells me. “I’ll be right back. Thanks again for this.” He turns around and sees that Rachel is already halfway out the door. I think I see a slight frown on his face. “From both Rachel and me.”

  I wave at Rachel and, taking advantage that Ollie has his back to her, she rolls her eyes in response.

  “Some people are pigs,” I say, pulling out yet another used napkin from my living room couch.

  “Tell me about it.” Adam is on his knees scrubbing stains out of the area rug. “You know I have a theory about why Rachel hates you.”

  “Really.” This is a bit out-of-blue. We all know Rachel hates me because she thinks I have a secret crush on Ollie and the fact that we’re roommates means I can pounce on him at any moment. Although Ethan had been a bit suspicious of my living arrangements at first, it didn’t take long for him to realize he had nothing to worry about. But Rachel? She never got that.

  “What’s your theory?” I ask, suddenly curious.

  “I think she’s jealous because you’re feeding her man. You know what they say about the way to a man’s heart. She sees you as a threat because you’re providing him with something she can’t give him. Maybe she’s afraid that today he wants you for your lemon cake but tomorrow he might want you for your hot, sexy body.”

  I throw a cushion at Adam, which he catches and throws back at me, hitting me square in the face. “I cook for Ollie because I love to cook and he’s my roommate and my best friend. There’s no evil plan for seduction written in between the lines of my recipe book. Do you know w
hat Rachel said to me the other day?”

  “I’m tall and thin and I bleach my hair and my teeth, thus I am better than you?” Adam mimics.

  That does sound like something she’d say, but I shake my head. “She said: ‘Roxy, I wish I could be like you and eat and eat and not care about how much weight I gain.’”

  “Ouch. Did you knock out her teeth?”

  “In my mind, yes. But for Ollie’s sake, no.”

  I put down the cleaning supplies. “I think we’re done here.” Tali and Emma come out of the kitchen holding dish towels and plop down on the couch.

  Emma squirms and pulls out a half-eaten whole-wheat bun from behind the cushion. “Ewwwww,” she says, making a face before bursting into laughter. “A bun,” she says, clutching her stomach and falling from the couch to the floor.

  “What is it?” Tali asks. “Emma Halpert, are you drunk?”

  “No, no. A bun.” She starts rubbing her belly—much like a pregnant woman would—and we all explode into a fit of giggles. I get it now.

  “Do it, Tali. Please,” Adam begs.

  Here we go again. I know it’s mean to make fun of Rachel, but she is such an easy target. She’s an aspiring actress but, so far, her only claim to fame has been a national commercial for a home pregnancy test. And whenever my friends and I want to make fun of her (and that’s pretty much whenever we get together) we recreate her cheesy commercial. Tali does the best impression of Rachel—boobs out, hand on hip—pointing at her flat belly with the washboard abs and the pierced naval, looking into the camera and saying her now-famous line: “I want to know RIGHT NOW if there’s a bun in this oven.”

  It’s too much for me and I collapse on the floor laughing.

  By the time Ollie comes back, all my friends have gone home. The apartment is spotless and the couch has gone back to being a couch after masquerading as a trash can for the last few hours.

  “Sorry I couldn’t help you clean up,” Ollie says. I sorta had this thing with Rachel.”

  “It’s fine. There wasn’t much cleaning up to do,” I lie. “Everything okay?”

  Ollie sighs and sits down on a kitchen chair. He’s looking at his hands, not me. I know he’s trying to tell me something I won’t want to hear. “You can’t come to the airport tomorrow.”

  “Oh.”

  “Rachel thought it would be best since we’re leaving together. She doesn’t want any awkward moments. I tried to change her mind but...”

  “No, no, it’s fine. I understand.” I’m hoping the expression on my face doesn’t betray me. Not going to the airport isn’t a big deal. It’s just the fact that she won’t allow me to go. Like I’m a child. Like I’m her child.

  Ollie looks up at me with hopeful eyes. “Breakfast tomorrow morning at the Quid? Just the two of us. On me.”

  “Definitely.”

  “Great. I didn’t see Ethan tonight. Did I miss him?”

  “Yeah, he was only here for a few minutes.” I’m not technically lying since Ethan was downstairs and even though he never made it to the party, he was still here. “He had to rush, though, and he’s really bummed he couldn’t say good luck to you.” Now I’m lying and I have no idea why. I’m usually able to tell Ollie everything but now it’s different. I don’t want him to leave knowing I’m upset because of Ethan. He’s got enough on his plate without worrying about me.

  “How about some TV?” Ollie suggests, sprawling out on the couch. “I’m not ready to go to bed yet.”

  I feel the same way. I’m not ready for it to be tomorrow even though it’s already past midnight. I take my usual place next to him.

  “Have you heard from Izzie lately?” Ollie asks.

  Izzie is my older sister. She’s a lawyer and even though she only lives a few minutes from here, I rarely see her. I try to remember the last time I spoke to her. Was it last week? It can’t be last month, can it? “I think Mom says she’s working on a big case. Such a workaholic. It’s a miracle she takes time to breathe.”

  Ollie nods, examining his hands. “And… what about Steffi? How’s she doing?”

  Steffi is my baby sister who went to San Francisco for a weekend trip four years ago and forgot to come home. “Actually, I’ve barely heard from her since she visited at Christmas. Mom says she’s stressed out because of her job. But how stressful can working in a coffee shop be?”

  Ollie laughs. “I don’t know. I’ve seen a few people freak out at Starbucks in my time. Just say hi from me when you talk to Steffi, okay?” He reaches for the remote control and flips through the channels until he finds CNN. “How about a little impending doom?”

  Ollie is addicted to the news and—over the years—I’ve made peace with the fact that our TV is always tuned to the latest natural disaster or political meltdown. Staring at the handsome Anderson Cooper has definitely helped that process. Ollie is a big fan too, but for entirely different—and probably nobler—reasons.

  “Roxy?” Ollie asks after a few minutes, interrupting my daydream about Anderson. “Are you daydreaming about Anderson Cooper again?”

  “No.”

  “Liar.”

  I gasp and try to keep a straight face. “I am way too interested in the plight of these poor citizens to daydream.”

  Ollie mutes the TV and looks at me. “Oh really, Miss United Nations? Name the country he’s in.”

  “Shhh, I’m watching the news,” I say, grabbing the remote. “The gorgeous, gorgeous news. Be quiet.”

  He laughs and turns his attention back to the TV. I move closer and rest my head on his shoulder.

  I am going to miss these moments.

  Chapter Three

  “Rox, we need to talk.”

  Ollie and I are sitting at our usual table in the deserted Quid. Well, deserted except for Dan the Drunk who’s already working on his second pint of Guinness. He’s a nice drunk, though. I think that’s why Adam lets him stay. He never gets rowdy. Just drinks a few pints, leaves a generous tip for Jenny the waitress and goes off to wherever it is he needs to be. Ollie and I have a theory that Dan is the CEO of a big company—mostly because he wears a suit and carries a briefcase—and he just needs a few pints to get going in the morning, just like I practically need a caffeine IV to be functional. Maybe he’s a completely different guy when he leaves the pub. Maybe he’s chatty and cheerful when he gets to the office and everyone there loves him. It makes me wonder if I’d be able to deal with Greta a little better if I got a bit tipsy before going to work.

  “Roxy, are you listening to me?” Ollie combs his fingers through his mop of unruly hair and yawns.

  “Yes, yes. But I’ll listen much better when Jenny gets here with the coffee.” I look towards the kitchen and try to stifle my own yawn.

  Ollie and I didn’t sleep much last night. I wish I could say it was because we were up all night talking about old times. No, we fell asleep on the couch and Ollie woke up in a panic when he realized he hadn’t packed. Like, at all. He wanted me to go to bed but I insisted on helping him, which mostly involved emptying the contents of his closet and drawers on the bed like a burglar.

  I’d wanted to talk to him about Ethan’s crazy plan but—every time I opened my mouth to say something—the voice in the back of my head told me that I already knew what Ollie would say. Ollie would be against the whole idea. That’s why I’m not going to say a word.

  “It really sucks that Ethan didn’t stick around yesterday, don’t you think?” He grins at me and I instantly know what’s coming next. “Still sure you want to marry him?”

  Here we go again. Ever since Ethan proposed six months ago, Ollie hasn’t missed a chance to point out his shortcomings and question whether I really meant it when I accepted his proposal. It’s getting a bit irritating but I know he’s just looking out for me.

  “He was busy,” I say. “We’ve been over this. Ethan is a good guy. Better than any other guy I’ve ever dated, that’s for sure.” I smile at him. “It could have been worse. I could have ended up
with Handy Randy. Remember him?”

  Ollie shudders and I see a frown start to stretch out across his face. “Handy Randy. I haven’t heard that name in ages.”

  I know Ollie still hasn’t gotten over the fact that Andy liked to hug him. And rub his back. And neck. And there was the occasional slap on the butt.

  “I’m just saying. It could have been Handy Randy. But it’s Ethan.”

  “Yeah, Ethan has a nice job and a nice car. But this elopement thing. Is that the behavior of someone who cares about your feelings?”

  I forget about my raging need for caffeine for a second and stare at him. “Who told you about the elopement?”

  “Emma. She thinks it’s a stupid idea and so do I.”

  “Are you guys ganging up on me?”

  “No, we’re ganging up on Ethan. He’s being kind of a prick, don’t you think? Please tell me you’re not considering it?”

  Am I? Am I considering getting married away from all my friends and family? I don’t know.

  “All I know is I want to marry Ethan. In a church, on a beach, in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. At the end of the day, it’s our decision.”

  He rolls his eyes. “As long as it’s your decision too. Ethan can be so overbearing.”

  I can barely stifle a laugh. “What about Rachel? Besides the fact that she doesn’t even try to hide how much she hates me, she hovers over you like a shadow.”

  “I know Rach can be difficult. But, you know, she’s put up with a lot of my crap.” He stops and examines his hands. Is Ollie blushing? “I’d never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I think she might be the one. I don’t know... It’s kind of scary, actually, when I stop and think about it.”

  What’s really scary is the thought that Rachel is more than Ollie’s chick of the moment and that as long as Ollie is a part of my life Rachel will be right there next to him, most likely scowling at me. For years and years to come. I can see it now: Christmas dinners, birthday parties, mini-Rachels running around in toddler high heels. I want to stab myself with a butter knife.